Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 8, 2026

You Had Me at Meow by Gracie James

You Had Me at Meow
Gracie James
Publication date: July 7th 2026
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Romance, RomCom

About the Book:

Some girls get fairy godmothers. Abby Thompson gets a talking cat with a British accent and absolutely zero chill.

After her latest blind date—arranged by her loving (but relentless) mother—ends in a concussion, a wine-soaked dress, and enough humiliation to power Manhattan, Abby decides she’s done with dating. Forever.

Too bad her cat, Mr. Whiskers, has other ideas. And he’s suddenly sharing them. Out loud.

“Honestly, Abby, your taste in men is almost as concerning as your taste in sweaters.”

His mission? Fix her train-wreck love life and help her land her dream job. His qualifications? None. He’s a cat. His methods? Questionable at best.

But somewhere between the disastrous first dates, ruthless office politics, and the unexpectedly charming veterinarian who might actually be worth shaving her legs for, Abby starts to wonder…

Is Mr. Whiskers a miracle? Or a catastrophe with whiskers?

Either way, her opinionated feline isn’t backing down. And if Abby wants her dream life, she might have to trust the one life coach she never asked for. Her cat.

You Had Me at Meow is a sweet, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about finding your voice, risking your heart, and one very determined cat who refuses to let his human settle for anything less than purr-fection.

Add to Goodreads / Purchase from Amazon

—

Read an Excerpt:

Before I even reach the fridge, Mr. Whiskers has settled into his favorite spot on the couch while I gather the essentials of a proper pity party: a pint of mint chocolate chip, my largest spoon, and one of Dottie’s cosmic brownies. Ahhh, perfect.

Curling up next to my furry little roommate, I pull our softest blanket over my legs and queue up one of our favorite movies. Maybe watching someone else’s embarrassing moments will make me feel better about my own.

As the opening credits roll, I crumble Dottie’s brownie over my ice cream, letting out a contented sigh. At least dessert never disappoints.

“Why can’t I find love like in the movies, huh, buddy?” I ask, running my fingers through his soft fur. “You know, the kind where tripping in front of your dream guy leads to true love instead of a concussion.”

Mr. Whiskers blinks up at me, his eyes reflecting the TV’s flickering light.

“I mean, look at tonight,” I continue, digging into my brownie-ice-cream creation and regretting nothing. Well… except maybe going out in the first place. “Mom sets me up with someone who’s supposedly perfect for me, and he turns out to be a complete jerk. And then when I finally meet a genuinely nice guy, he’s my cat’s veterinarian and he’s already taken.”

I scratch under Mr. Whiskers’ chin, earning a faint purr.

“Maybe I should just give up on dating altogether,” I muse. “I mean, who needs romance when I have you, anyway? We could be two crazy cat ladies together. Well, one crazy cat lady and one crazy cat, but you know what I mean. No more terrible blind dates, no more falling head over heels, literally, for the wrong guys. Just us, some yummy snacks, and the sweet escape of a good movie night. What do you think, huh, buddy? Sound good?”

“Darling, that sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all night.”

Meet the Author:

Gracie James lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and their sweet rescue cat, Pinky, and absolutely loves the rain. When she’s not writing swoony, laugh-out-loud rom-coms sprinkled with a touch of magic, she’s usually hiking up a mountain or eating chocolate like it’s a personality trait. Her creative peak occurs somewhere between “I should go to bed” and “well, it’s basically morning now,” and she considers sunrise more of a suggestion than a deadline.

Website / Goodreads / Instagram


GIVEAWAY!

You Had Me at Meow Blitz

—

This post contains affiliate links.
If you make a purchase using my links, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no cost to you.
Thank you for supporting Sapphyria’s Books.

Saturday, June 13, 2026

Hott Hotter Hottest by Serena Bell (Hott Springs Eternal, #5) ~ Comedy, Contemporary Romance, RomCom @serenabellbooks

Hott Hotter Hottest
Serena Bell
(Hott Springs Eternal, #5)
Publication date: June 9th 2026
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary Romance,  RomCom

Real bodyguard. Fake boyfriend. Unexpected benefits. Trouble guaranteed.

Tucker: Autumn Sato is a happiness influencer. And I’m…well, let’s just say my brand is more big gray stormcloud. If life were going to plan, the closest I’d get to her would be scrolling past her posts as fast as my thumbs could fly.

But my sister needs help, so I agree to bodyguard Autumn at her sister’s wedding. One thing leads to another, and suddenly I’m pretending to be her new boyfriend in front of all her friends and family.

It’s a hot mess, made worse because I swore I’d never do this again. Never get close to someone I was guarding. Never fall for someone whose safety was in my hands. Never let distraction get in the way of my job.

Unfortunately, this entire week is nothing but distractions: trapped in a car with my smoking hot client, only one bed in our hotel room, only one tent on the wedding camping trip… all before the bachelor–bachelorette prom. Meanwhile, someone seems to have it out for Autumn… or my family… or both.

As things heat up between us, I’m left with one question: Can I keep my heart—and the people I care about—safe?

A spicy, small-town, bodyguard, fake relationship, grumpy-sunshine romantic comedy with a hint of danger and a lot of heart.

Add to Goodreads 

Purchase from Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo

—

Read an Excerpt:

There’s a knock on the door behind us, and it swings open, and—

Wow.

Yeah, this guy is not a blend-into-a-crowd type. He’s gotta be at least six five, and he fills up the doorway—weight-lifter muscles under a lovingly clinging tee, a torso that tapers from broad shoulders to a trim waist, and tree-trunk thighs beneath snug-fitting jeans. His jaw is a hard line to a well-defined chin; his eyes are flecks of pale blue ice; his nose is Roman-warrior-worthy, and his mouth is lush.

Did I say wow? Let me reiterate: Wow.

“Autumn, this is my brother, Tucker; Tucker, Autumn.”

I stand up. Giant White Guy grunts and extends a hand. Mine disappears into his, into heat and calluses and thick fingers that make me wonder—

Nope. Not wondering.

“Thanks so much for being willing to do this on short notice,” I say.

He grunts again.

Okay, so not a conversationalist. We’ll have to work on that because there is zero chance I would date a guy who isn’t a talker. My sister would never believe that.

“Anything you two need from me?” Hanna asks. “Or can you take it from here? I have to run a couple of errands.”

“That’s fine!” I say, hoping to warm him up a bit by being extra friendly, definitely one of my superpowers. “We’ll be great, right, Tucker?”

A grunt.

Not warm yet, but I can work on it.

She gives both of us a look that says she doubts we’ll be great, shoots Tucker another look that I interpret as Behave, and slips out the door.

“So!” I say brightly. “This is gonna be a cinch!”

He raises both eyebrows but doesn’t respond.

“Hanna told you about the discretion thing, right? That my sister can’t know that you’re a bodyguard, because she can’t know that my dad thinks there might be danger at her wedding?”

The grunts clearly have different meanings. I’m taking this one as a yes.

“But I don’t see that as a problem! Because”—I pause for effect—“you can pretend to be my date for the wedding week!”

Meet the Author:

USA Today bestselling author Serena Bell writes contemporary romance with heat, heart, and humor. A former journalist, Serena has always believed that everyone has an amazing story to tell if you listen carefully, and you can often find her scribbling in her tiny garret office, mainlining chocolate and bringing to life the tales in her head.

Serena’s books have earned many honors, including an RT Reviewers’ Choice Award, Apple Books Best Book of the Month, and Amazon Best Book of the Year for Romance.

When not writing, Serena loves to spend time with her college-sweetheart husband and two hilarious kiddos—all of whom are incredibly tolerant not just of Serena’s imaginary friends but also of how often she changes her hobbies and how passionately she embraces the new ones. These days, it’s stand-up paddle boarding, board-gaming, meditation, and long walks with good friends.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook Page / Facebook Group / Instagram / X / Newsletter


GIVEAWAY!

Hott Hotter Hottest Blitz

—

This post contains affiliate links.
If you make a purchase using my links, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no cost to you.
Thank you for supporting Sapphyria’s Books.

Thursday, June 4, 2026

How to Love a Prince by Hayden Stone (Being Royal, #2) ~ Contemporary Romance, LGBTQ+, Romance @writerhayden @XpressoTours

How to Love a Prince
Hayden Stone
(Being Royal, #2)
Publication date: June 1st 2026
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary Romance, LGBTQ+, Romance

What happens when a playboy prince must find a respectable husband to redeem himself and secure the monarchy’s future when he unexpectedly inherits the throne?

About the Book:

When London-based playboy Prince Theodor learns he’s about to inherit the Danish throne, he must clean up his scandalous image by finding an appropriate husband. But his planned redemption arc to audition fake boyfriends to fake marry creates another set of problems, until a fateful trip to Corfu, Greece, leads him to Greek Prince Stefanos, of the former Greek monarchy, and challenges his guarded heart as sparks fly.

It’s too bad they accidentally sink a yacht, which inevitably leads to more scandal, and they must start apart. However, Theodor and Stefanos can’t stop thinking of each other, leading to heated, secret encounters between Greece and England guaranteed to set the tabloids alight once their secret is revealed…

How to Love a Prince, Book 2 in the Being Royal Series, is a light-hearted royal rom-com featuring fake dating, opposites-attract, and forbidden love.

For fans of Red, White & Royal Blue, Boyfriend Material, and The Unlikely Heir.

Add to Goodreads 

Purchase from Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo

—

Read an Excerpt:

When I pause long enough to go to the bar and get some water, I bump unsteadily into someone. “Sorry,” I manage, clapping a hand on the tall man’s shoulder in apology. It’s solid muscle under my fingers. He’s even more built than I am, and I’ve kept in good shape since my military service years ago and more recent modeling work after that. Before I settled into working with my business partner on our design projects.

The man turns around, frowning, his mouth open to complain. Then his eyes widen in recognition, beneath a tumble of dark, wavy hair.

Of course he’s hot.

I grit my teeth. A hot man is what got me in trouble to begin with tonight. Or, more like, said hot man got himself caught up in the tabloids and then caused me problems.

Also, I might be staring at the stranger.

Not being a British royal usually has its advantages in London. Less recognition, for starters. I’ve lived in London for years now, away from Denmark. I get less than I would get back home anyway, unless on the off chance I come across a Dane or a Danish monarchy enthusiast. Which, surprisingly, happens more often than one might think.

Except I’m hardly being subtle tonight. I want to be seen. Straightening to my full height, I stand my ground in defiance.

Let them photograph me. I insist.

I want Aidan to know what he’s missing. He’ll be sorry then, him and his wretched groom.

Except it doesn’t make things any better, and then it dawns on me I’ve still been gawping openly at a gorgeous man, with olive skin and black hair and blue eyes. Which, I’ve got to say, is a stunning combination known to do a number on me. He’s mesmerizing. I gawp like a tourist taking in one of the wonders of the world. Believe me, he’s one of them. Usually, I’m a shade more coy, to my credit, but I’ve had a lot to drink tonight, and my filter is off. In fact, my filter’s probably tossed somewhere deep in the Thames, like a votive offering right alongside some Bronze Age weapons and Roman coins.

“Prince Theodor?” He has an accent that I can’t quite place. It’s totally hot, though.

“Guilty,” I say flippantly, recovering in an artful facade of manners. I run a hand through my hair. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to crash into you. Shockingly rude. Would you like me to get you a drink to make up for it? Please.”

“No need. Already have one.” The man holds up his cocktail, complete with little umbrella and some fancy garnishes. His eyes dance. “You don’t know who I am?”

If I hadn’t been busy staring at his face like I was trying to etch it into my memory for all time, I would have maybe looked at his hand with its cocktail. Confession time. “To be honest, I barely know who I am right now.”

“Fair.” The grin he gives is spectacular, easy, almost familiar. His white teeth match his white shirt. I shiver. “I can see why you might want to forget tonight. Bad luck about the news.”

Now he looks sympathetic. My face burns.

Oh, hell.

Does everyone follow the tabloids? God, has everyone seen my embarrassment coming before I did?

Even so, do I want to forget this stranger? The probability in truth is at around nil. Around us, the dance music thumps on, people laugh and carry on around the bar where we stand in the shifting strobe lights from the dance floor, all purple and pink and blue.

And then, everything comes crashing down again as his words belatedly register in my brain. My mouth hangs slightly open. So much for finding the evening’s prospect. He’s murdered my opening.

“Ouch, man.” My suaveness has gone right out the door of the club and died on the Soho street. Probably by drowning in a well-trodden puddle. “You had to remind me about the news.”

“Sorry.” He looks contrite. Then he searches my eyes, with amusement lingering in his. There’s no malice that I can see, which makes for a refreshing change, at least. “You really don’t know who I am?”

“How rude, I should have asked your name. I’m sorry, my manners have vanished. Terribly sorry. What’s your name, then?” I ask.

He laughs easily, shrugging. “It’s Stefanos.”

I go back to staring. Something is at last clicking into place through an absinthe-induced fog. No wonder he looks a little familiar. “As in, Prince Stefanos?”

That would be Prince Stefanos of the former Greek monarchy. The Greek Royal Family remains, but in exile outside of Greece, spread across Europe.

“Yes.” Stefanos bows his head. There’s something completely charming in the gesture, almost shy. Certainly self-effacing. “And I’m very sorry about the reminder of the tabloids. I know they’re a pain for all of us.”

“You just re-reminded me,” I complain, but I’m smiling, despite the miserable night he seems to insist on reminding me about, like he’s delighting in a few more twists of the knife. And despite my best efforts to forget about Aidan. A stab wound is like that. My gut twinges. Or maybe it’s the drinks protesting in my stomach.

At any rate, I’m distracted by Stefanos, the moment of his glossy hair as he laughs again, ducking his head down as he breaks my riveted gaze.

“I’ve got to say, the prince-per-capita rating in this club is off the charts tonight.” I gaze openly at him, leaning ever so slightly in. Yes, he’s hot. Confirmed. As if there were any question about his hotness. The evening’s at last starting to look better and better. Thank fuck.

“Absolutely—”

Then, in turn, someone careens into me—and my flirting is officially cancelled.

Because it’s officially messy o’clock at the bar before last call.

And I’m drunk enough to not have my bones left for balance—and I crash hard, my drink splashing him first—and I fall hard right into Stefanos’s chest.

Meet the Author:

More animal than mineral, Hayden Stone is a writer of fun queer fiction, especially with kissing. He currently lives in Victoria, Canada, and has previously lived in Vancouver, Canada and London, UK. He likes strong coffee and is owned by two cats. You can find out his latest news on Twitter or Instagram, or at his website: haydenstonebooks.com

Website / Goodreads / Instagram / TikTok / X


GIVEAWAY!

How to Love a Prince Blitz

—

This post contains affiliate links.
If you make a purchase using my links, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no cost to you.
Thank you for supporting Sapphyria’s Books.

Monday, June 1, 2026

Cover Reveal ~ You Had Me at Meow by Gracie James ~ #RomCom @XpressoTours

~ COVER REVEAL ~

You Had Me at Meow
Gracie James
Publication date: July 7th 2026
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Romance

About the Book:

Some girls get fairy godmothers. Abby Thompson gets a talking cat with a British accent and absolutely zero chill.

After her latest blind date—arranged by her loving (but relentless) mother—ends in a concussion, a wine-soaked dress, and enough humiliation to power Manhattan, Abby decides she’s done with dating. Forever.

Too bad her cat, Mr. Whiskers, has other ideas. And he’s suddenly sharing them. Out loud.

“Honestly, Abby, your taste in men is almost as concerning as your taste in sweaters.”

His mission? Fix her train-wreck love life and help her land her dream job. His qualifications? None. He’s a cat. His methods? Questionable at best.

But somewhere between the disastrous first dates, ruthless office politics, and the unexpectedly charming veterinarian who might actually be worth shaving her legs for, Abby starts to wonder…

Is Mr. Whiskers a miracle? Or a catastrophe with whiskers?

Either way, her opinionated feline isn’t backing down. And if Abby wants her dream life, she might have to trust the one life coach she never asked for. Her cat.

You Had Me at Meow is a sweet, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about finding your voice, risking your heart, and one very determined cat who refuses to let his human settle for anything less than purr-fection.

Add to Goodreads / Pre-order from Amazon


Meet the Author:

Gracie James lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and their sweet rescue cat, Pinky, and absolutely loves the rain. When she’s not writing swoony, laugh-out-loud rom-coms sprinkled with a touch of magic, she’s usually hiking up a mountain or eating chocolate like it’s a personality trait. Her creative peak occurs somewhere between “I should go to bed” and “well, it’s basically morning now,” and she considers sunrise more of a suggestion than a deadline.

Website / Goodreads / Instagram


GIVEAWAY!

You Had Me at Meow Reveal

—

This post contains affiliate links.
If you make a purchase using my links, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no cost to you.
Thank you for supporting Sapphyria’s Books.

Friday, May 1, 2026

Shopping for a Highlander’s Baby by Julia Kent ~ Comedy, Contemporary Romance, RomCom ~ @XpressoTours

Shopping for a Highlander’s Baby
Julia Kent
(Shopping for a Highlander, #4)
Publication date: March 30th 2026
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary Romance, RomCom

The best early strike o’ ma life wasna on the pitch. It was in bed with Amy on our honeymoon.

Dinna ken how we turned our elopement, honeymoon, and conception into a hat trick, but there ye go.

One minute we’re swimming in champagne and red satin sheets, the next we’re staring at a due date that lands right when I’m supposed ta start my big sportscasting gig in London.

Amy’s glowing. She’s also got that fire in her — the kind that makes her tell my billionaire uncle exactly where ta shove his branding campaign, quit her job at eight months pregnant, and rearrange our entire life plan on a Tuesday.

The grandmums are suspiciously quiet, which is more terrifying than when they’re at each other’s throats.

Then it happens. The wee one decides ta make an entrance four weeks early — while I’m three thousand miles away, live on air, with a producer who willna let me leave.

So I do what any McCormick would do.

I coach ma wife through labor in one ear, commentate the match in the other, and let a billion people watch me choose my family over my career on live television.

It’s messy. It’s loud. It’s pure chaos.

It’s the match of our lives.

Add to Goodreads 

Purchase from Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo

—

Read an Excerpt:

Amy

Ceramic tile is hard and very cold.

I find that out when my toes turn into icicles as I stand holding a plastic wand that says PREGNANT, like the world’s bossiest fortune cookie.

PREGNANT

The condo holds the aroma of last night’s roasted garlic pizza, which felt like a good option at nine p.m. Now? Not so much. A breath of ocean air wafts in through the cracked-open window.

Boston hums outside.

Inside, I am a statue with messy sex hair and a pee stick screaming my future and… oh, my God.

The word grandmonsters rings through my head like Quasimodo clanging the Notre Dame cathedral bell. Our mothers ruined our wedding, crashed our elopement, and now here we stand, five weeks later, married and—

PREGNANT

I breathe in, out, forgetting the rhythm as my distracted brain tries to fill a whiteboard. An Airtable. Every Kanban board. All the Excel spreadsheets, every last one of them.

Hamish wraps around me from behind, lifting me before my feet realize it. He is warm and tall and smells like soap and sleep, and his forearms around my ribcage are so solid, so sure of where they belong, that my body gives up its panic and leans back into him before my brain can file an objection.

Beware the boundless optimism of a man who once insisted a vibrating bed should be on our wedding gift registry.

And that guests should throw quarters instead of rice.

“I canna believe it,” he says into my ear, voice hushed. “We’re havin’ a wee bairn.”

“Hi,” I say to my husband of five weeks, who hit the bullseye with the first married shot, dammit. “Yes. Apparently.”

Years ago, back when I hated him, I called Hamish “sex on a stick.”

Now I’m holding the sex stick, all right. I just never thought it would be white plastic and determine my fate.

Hamish lets go, walks away, and comes back into the bathroom carrying a chilled bottle of Champagne. It’s the bottle we brought back from our honeymoon in Love You, Maine, from the heart-shaped-everything suite. He holds it up, eyes shining.

“Breakfast o’ champions?”

“No, love.” I put my hand on his. “I can’t drink that now.”

A microsecond of confusion crosses his face, then he executes a pivot that would impress his old coach.

“Aye. Well then, coffee it is.” His auburn brows drop. “Unless ye canna have coffee?”

“I will always have coffee.”

Meet the Author:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. Since 2013, she has sold more than 2 million books, with 4 New York Times bestsellers and more than 21 appearances on the USA Today bestseller list. Her books have been translated into French, German, and Italian, with more titles releasing in the future.

From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men's room toilet (and he isn't a billionaire she met in a romantic comedy).

She lives in New England with her husband and three children where she is the only person in the household with the gene required to change empty toilet paper rolls.

She loves to hear from her readers by email at julia@jkentauthor.com, on Twitter @jkentauthor, on Facebook at @jkentauthor, and on Instagram @jkentauthor. Visit her at http://jkentauthor.com

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Instagram / Newsletter / Bookbub / Amazon


GIVEAWAY!

Shopping for a Highlander’s Baby Blitz

—
This post contains affiliate links.

If you make a purchase using my links, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no cost to you.
Thank you for supporting Sapphyria’s Books.

Tuesday, February 3, 2026

When Time Flies by Jennifer Moreno ~ Comedy, Romance, Time-Travel

When Time Flies
Jennifer Moreno
Publication date: February 3rd 2026
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Romance, Time-Travel

She was just a flight attendant…until she landed in her past.

About the Book:

Indy Kash is a corporate flight attendant, jet-setting with the rich and famous in a world most only glimpse through glossy magazine covers. But beneath the polished service and designer luggage lies a past she’s spent years trying to forget. When a mysterious time-slip yanks her mid- flight into the trauma that derailed her life thirteen years ago, Indy is forced to face the crime that destroyed her future—and the man who made sure she took the fall.

Back in the present, he’s suddenly on board her jet, and Indy’s thrown into a battle across time to stop him from destroying the world. With a reluctant spirit guide, a crash course in time travel, and a love she never saw coming, Indy must untangle the past to rewrite her future.

Can she finally clear her name, save the world, and discover if time really does heal all wounds?

Add to Goodreads / Purchase from Amazon

—

Read an Excerpt:

The old rage from my liver rose, and my intestines churned like an electric whisk on the lowest speed. I was a cliché of both Chinese medicine and Ayurveda. The fact that my shame, anger, and fear culminated into Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) really made me textbook. As the spiritual experts would say: You keep holding onto old crap.

I’d tried everything to let go of the past. I talked about my feelings to numerous therapists—some good, some not. I even attempted the “woo-woo” including:

Inner child work.

A soul retrieval from a Native American shaman (Apparently my soul couldn’t be retrieved).

Good ole fashioned journaling.

Cry therapy.

Ayahuasca in the Amazon jungle (The result? Shitting and vomiting at the same time).

Exploring my “shadow side.”

Breath work while a didgeridoo played in the background (One word: painful).

Shrooms.

Trauma workshops.

Belief coding.

Vision boarding (I was desperate).

Transcendental Meditation.

Ketamine.

Visits to psychics, mediums, astrologers, and tarot readers, who all agreed…


Author Bio:

Jennifer Moreno has a master’s degree in creative writing from New York University. She was a corporate flight attendant for six years and is the host of the Corporate Flight Attendant podcast.

She is deeply involved in metaphysical practices, including obtaining certificates in trance and advanced mediumship; medical intuition; and psychic detection. She is also a reiki master and hosted a metaphysical podcast called Two Inches Off the Ground.

In her personal life, Jennifer is a proud Colombian adoptee. As a Colombian American, she enjoys improving her Spanish and exploring her roots in her native Colombia. “Jennifer” is her adopted American name, and “Moreno” is her original Colombian surname, thus combining these different…yet magical cultures.


GIVEAWAY!

When Time Flies Blitz

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Friday, January 30, 2026

Had Me At Howdy by Mary Karlik ~ Comedy, Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult ~ #Excerpt

Had Me At Howdy
Mary Karlik
(A Hillside * Spring Creek Novel)
Publication date: November 22nd 2025
Genres: Comedy, Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult

Platinum credit card? Deactivated. New car? Sold. Best life ever? Canceled.

About the Book:

Thanks to my dad losing his job, we’ve ditched Chicago for Fumbuck, Texas—population: redneck. Now I’m living on a rundown farm, scrubbing dishes, and driving a rusty pickup. Worst of all? I’m stuck working alongside a cowboy.

But this Cinderella isn’t giving up. I’ll claw my way back to the luxe life I left behind—and no one, not even infuriatingly chill, stupidly handsome Austin McCoy is going to stop me. Even if he does make feeding the chickens weirdly… enjoyable.

She thinks she’s just passing through. I’m hoping she stays.
I kind of feel for the Quinn sisters. City girls don’t belong in Spring Creek—but Kelsey? There’s more to her than designer labels and eye rolls. When she forgets to be angry, I see it—like the way her eyes light up when she feeds the chickens.

Now all I have to do is convince her the guy she really wants is me, not some rich dude taking her to a ball in Chicago.

Content Warning: This work contains a subplot involving death, grief, and an off-page instance of date rape. While these events are not depicted directly, they are referenced and may be distressing to some readers.

Add to Goodreads / Purchase from Amazon

—

Read an Excerpt:

The universe had completely crapped on Kelsey Quinn’s life.

She dabbed at her eyes, blew her nose, and wadded up the tissue before dropping it to the pile on the seat next to her. Pressing her forehead against the car window, she watched the scenery fly by at seventy miles per hour. They passed Bob’s Stay and Go combination gas station—fast food restaurant—hotel, followed by some weird concrete starship-shaped pizza parlor. Next, three-foot fluorescent letters screamed about redemption across a junkyard fence surrounding rusted pieces of mangled metal. The few words of scripture painted there weren’t going change her fate. Her dad was in the driver’s seat and they were heading straight for the armpit of Texas.

With a sigh she slumped against the seat and tried not to think about the boyfriend who’d been ripped from her life, or the best friend she’d been forced to leave behind. But it wasn’t just her forced exile from Drew and Zoe. She’d lost her identity. At St. Monica’s, she knew who she was and where she fit in. It was her senior year, the year she’d looked forward to for as long as she was in school. They had taken it away with less thought than the car they’d sold one afternoon while she and Zoe were shopping. None of it was her fault. She was a victim of her dad’s incompetence on one hand and her sister’s immorality on the other.

Her dad exited onto a two-lane highway where they were greeted by a faded, Welcome to Hillside Texas, Population 5000, sign. They slowed to a crawl as they entered the town. At a four-way stop her mom screeched, “Oh my God Tom, look at the cute little diner. We’re all starving, let’s stop before we go to the house.”

“Sounds good to me. Jack’s not expecting us for another couple of hours anyway.” Dad angled the Infinity between two pickup trucks and turned off the engine.

The diner was nestled in the center of a row of dilapidated two story buildings. Early Bird Café was painted in bright blue letters across the glass. Kelsey pulled her compact mirror from her purse and studied her reflection. She’d been crying for two days, no amount of makeup magic would fix her swollen red eyes. It didn’t matter. She didn’t care about this place or these people. She sure as heck didn’t care what they thought about her. She shoved the mirror back into her purse.

Her younger sister, Ryan, looked all wide-eyed and curious. And worse, she actually looked excited to investigate this hick little town. Why not? It was her fault they were in this mess in the first place. Her parents would have been justified to ship Ryan off to some kind of school for troubled kids. But no—Quinns don’t give up on their own. Everybody had to suffer because Ryan couldn’t say no to drugs or boys.

Mackenzie, Kelsey’s youngest sister, flipped her compact gymnast’s body from the third seat to the back seat nailing Ryan in the shoulder with her foot.

“Watch it!” Ryan drew her fist back, but before she could get the hit off Mackenzie flashed a cherub smile and released a powder sugar apology. Yeah. That wasn’t an accident. Kelsey almost smiled when she saw foot impact with shoulder. Mackenzie had been fairly silent about the ruin Ryan’s exploits had done to her life. Apparently, she had her limits too.

Meet the Author:

Join Mary's newsletter: https://maryjwilson.com/contact/

Mary Karlik (also writing as Mary J. Wilson) combines her Texas roots with her Scottish heritage to write happily-ever-afters from Texas to Scotland.

Mary has five indie-published contemporary young adult romance novels and two fantasy novels.

Mary earned her MFA in Writing Popular Fiction from Seton Hill University, has a B.S. degree from Texas A&M University, and is currently studying Scottish Gaelic at Sabhal Mòr Ostaig in Skye, Scotland. She is also a certified, professional ski instructor and a Registered Nurse.

Mary is an active member of Contemporary Romance Writers, Romance Writers of America, and Dallas Area Romance Authors. Married to a Scott, Mary lives in both and Scotland and Texas.

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Roped Into Paradise: A Sweet Cruise Rom-Com by Shanna Hatfield ~ Comedy, Contemporary, Romance #RomCom

Roped Into Paradise: A Sweet Cruise Rom-Com
Shanna Hatfield
Publication date: January 29th 2026
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

A cowboy, a cruise, and a meddling grandma—what could go wrong?

About the Book: 

JJ McKade expected to spend two weeks with his grandmother at her condo in sunny Florida, celebrating her birthday. Instead, he got shanghaied by his mischievous grandma on a Caribbean cruise—complete with hot pink luggage, a gaggle of giggling octogenarians, and a humiliating childhood nickname haunting his every move.

Between meddling matchmakers, unexpected friendships, and the endless chaos of cruise life, JJ can’t help being drawn to Kinsley Kline, the ship’s enchanting horticulturist. There’s just one catch: crew fraternizing with passengers is strictly forbidden.

With only a few months left in her contract aboard The Affinity, Kinsley can’t let anything rock her boat or derail her plans. Then the arrival of a hunky cowboy on the ship makes her question if some rules are meant to be broken, and a little boat rocking is a good thing.

From sun-drenched beaches to moonlit strolls, JJ and Kinsley must decide if an onboard romance can last on land, and if love is worth risking their hearts.

Packed with laughter, longing, and a grandmother who refuses to play by the rules, Roped Into Paradise is a heartwarming romantic comedy about family, hope, and finding love where you least expect it. Perfect for fans of witty banter, slow-burn romance, and cruise ship escapades that sweep you off your feet.

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Read an Excerpt:

They moved off the elevator and had only taken a step when Trudy’s air-raid siren voice alerted him to the presence of his grandmother’s friends.

The gazes of everyone in the vicinity swiveled to them as Trudy and Marsha gave Grams big hugs, then all four women turned to JJ. The scrutiny in their gazes was enough to unsettle him, but from the corner of his eye, he saw something move and shifted just slightly to see Kinsley pressing moss inside a planter filled with colorful blooming flowers.

“Yoohoo! Girls! If you’re looking for a great guy to date, this one is single!” Trudy shouted, then she and Marsha made exaggerated pointing motions at JJ.

The heat searing from his neck to the top of his head made him momentarily question if he might implode. The mortification he felt was indescribable, particularly with Kinsley staring at him wide-eyed, as though she wasn’t sure what to make of Trudy’s declaration. He certainly had no idea what to do with the big-mouthed old woman.

JJ closed his eyes and wished Neptune would rise from the sea, reach into the ship, and drag him under. Where was a good, solid iceberg when you needed it for a distraction?

At the very least, maybe they’d sail straight into the Bermuda Triangle. After all, this doomed adventure had felt like a trip through a nightmarish alternate universe from the moment his grandmother had announced they were taking it. Right now, with dozens of passengers laughing at him and a few women passing him scribbled notes with their room numbers, he forgot about the fun he’d had earlier in the day.

It was hard to focus on anything when he wanted to simply disappear.

JJ had never enjoyed being the center of attention. Sure, he’d played sports in high school and even participated in rodeo a few years after he graduated, but the attention wasn’t solely on him, like he’d stepped into the glaring center of a spotlight.

Grams and Shirley were madly whispering something to Trudy and Marsha, but before he could kick his brain back in gear enough to hear what they said, a hand settled on his shoulder. He looked over to see Ted, who nodded once to him. Wynn offered a commiserating look of encouragement.

Afraid to glance at Kinsley but needing to know if she had joined those laughing at him, he turned his head, and their gazes connected. She smiled and winked at him, and that one little gesture made him feel better than anything anyone else could have offered.

“Let’s get these cackling hens to the restaurant before they humiliate every male on the ship,” Ted said quietly, moving forward to stake his claim beside Grams.

Meet the Author:

USA Today Bestselling Author Shanna Hatfield writes sweet romances rich with relatable characters, small town settings that feel like home, humor, and hope.

Her historical westerns have been described as “reminiscent of the era captured by Bonanza and The Virginian” while her contemporary works have been called “laugh-out-loud funny, and a little heart-pumping sexy without being explicit in any way.”

When this farm girl isn’t writing or indulging in rich, decadent chocolate, Shanna hangs out with her husband, lovingly known as Captain Cavedweller. She also experiments with recipes, snaps photos of her adorable nephew, and caters to the whims of a cranky cat named Drooley.

To learn more about Shanna or the books she writes, visit her website http://shannahatfield.com or find out more about her here: linktr.ee/ShannaHatfield

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Thursday, January 29, 2026

The Rewrite by Beth Rinyu ~ Comedy, Contemporary, Romance #RomCom

The Rewrite
Beth Rinyu
Publication date: January 29th 2026
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

How long would you hold a grudge?

About the Book:

If you’re Eloise Hendrickson, the answer is twenty-five years. After being humiliated by her overseas pen pal in seventh grade, Eloise, now a successful writer, has never quite let go of that one mortifying moment. One bad breakup, a late night of drunken internet sleuthing, and a half-baked excuse to bust through writer’s block send her straight into the path of the boy she’s hated her whole life.

Her plan? Turn him into the villain of her next novel.
The plot twist? He’s not the jerk she remembers.

Instead, he’s a charming chocolatier, a devoted family man, and awkwardly, a huge fan of her books. But as Eloise reconnects with the past, it’s not him who captures her attention, it’s someone else entirely. Someone unexpected. He’s rude, infuriating, and gets under her skin like no one else. He’s the exact opposite of the heroes she creates and the men she dates.

With new friends, a fresh perspective, and possibly the beginnings of something romantic—Eloise must decide if she’s finally ready to let go of the perfection she’s always demanded from herself as well as everyone around her, and embrace the unpredictable, wonderfully flawed life waiting for her. Maybe her next bestseller won’t be about righting the past after all. Maybe it will be about rewriting the future instead.

Warning: This book may contain chocolate and possibly a happily ever after.

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Read an Excerpt:

“Okay, so if booty calls are off the table. What about a friendship? Seeing he’s such a decent guy? You’re a lonely woman in a strange country. He’s an available strapping man. Maybe it would be nice to have someone just to hang out with. I mean… not someone like you and me someone. Let’s face it, I’m irreplaceable.”

“No,” I cut in. “Like I said, he’s nice. For someone else. Whether it’s sex or friendship, I’m not interested. And for the record, I’m not lonely.”

“Yes, yes, how could I forget, your social circle now includes preteens and senior citizens.”

“I happen to like my new friends, both young and old.”

“Ella, honey.” Charlie gave me that look that was equal parts exasperated and concerned. “All I’m saying is, maybe this is your moment to let your hair down a little. You’re always so tightly wound, and this breakup didn’t exactly loosen the screws. Maybe it’s time to expand your horizons. Try something different. Someone different. Maybe this guy is the kind of non-Kent energy you need.”

“Okay, when did you get a PHD in Psychology?” I snapped.

“Reading radar maps and reading the human psyche are kind of the same thing. Both are temperamental and can change in a heartbeat,” he teased.

“Charlie, I love and appreciate you, but stick to doing the weather. You’re much better at that!”

“One last question, and then I promise I’ll ixnay the subject.” “What?” I didn’t even try to hide my annoyance.

“Do you call him Mr. Moreau or Grace’s daddy?”

“Goodbye, Charlie!” I blew him a kiss and disconnected our call.

Meet the Author:

I've always had a passion for Creative Writing. There's something special about being able to travel to a different place or become a different person with just the stroke of a pen—or in today's world, a tap of the keyboard. Maybe it all started with the soap opera-level drama I used to script for my Barbie dolls. Plot twists, emotional arcs, surprise twins... it was basically a writer’s room before I even knew what one was. Whatever the spark, storytelling quickly became my favorite creative outlet. I craft stories that keep me on my toes and constantly push me beyond my comfort zone. Deep characters you either root for or love to hate are the ones I’m most drawn to.

Exploring new places helps me uncover fresh and exciting settings for my books, but there’s nothing quite like a quiet walk in the woods or sitting by the ocean close to home. Turns out, plot twists and inspiration arrive just as easily with a sea breeze—or a few curious squirrels.

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Monday, December 22, 2025

Cole for Christmas by Treva Harte ~ @RABTBookTours #RABTBookTours #ColeforChristmas #TrevaHarte #ChristmasRomance


Cole for Christmas by Treva Harte 

A Friends to Lovers BDSM Ménage


Christmas / Romance / Comedy

Date Published: December 23, 2025

Publisher: Changeling Press


Sarah has a secret -- she wants her best friend Cole. Cole wants Jeff. And Jeff? Surprise! He wants them both.

About the Book:

Cole is wild, funny, impulsive, and Sarah’s best friend. She doesn’t understand what he gets out of submission, but she’s not going to let Cole get hurt the way he has in the past. So when she discovers his new dom is Jeff, the jerk who helped kick her out of her undergraduate program, she knows she has to intervene.

But when she sees Jeff again, she’s confused. He says he wants Sarah to be Cole’s Christmas present, and she’s stunned. She and Cole are just friends, aren't they? Amazingly, Cole seems to want her as much as she secretly has wanted him. The even bigger surprise? She realizes she wants Jeff too.

Even if she could have them both, this is supposed to be temporary. It’s too bad she’s only allowed to have Cole for Christmas.


Read an Excerpt::

Copyright ©2025 Treva Harte

“What’s wrong with you, Cole?” Sarah stared at her friend over the flimsy coffee container. “You have to go pee pee? You’ve been twitchy ever since we got here.”

Cole laughed and gave her the finger. He opened his mouth as if to give a smart-ass answer but then bent over his latte instead. Not looking at her, he carefully blew on it and took a sip.

Sarah settled back. Cole was obviously dying to tell her something, and she knew from experience all she needed to do was sit. If he waited more than ten minutes before spilling everything, he’d probably keel over from the strain.

The clatter of students milling around the student union coffee shop made the silence less noticeable. They continued drinking.

Two minutes of just downing caffeine. Impressive. Cole was hanging tough.

He shifted again in his seat and shut his eyes, grimacing. Sarah frowned, suddenly a little concerned. Cole was a genius -- a real, measured-by-testing genius -- but that didn’t mean his emotional IQ always matched his intelligence. She was sure it was a challenge to be five to ten years younger than his academic peers, and Cole didn’t always meet that challenge. In fact, Cole could be kind of a pain in the ass. Right now he was acting like he had a literal pain there.

Oh. Ohhhh, boy. He might actually have one. Please God, no. She might have to venture into TMI territory to find out.

Cole had been more than forthcoming about his sex life in the two years they’d been in grad school together. That was a problem for him. Younger and smarter in some things had made him vulnerable in others, especially since he was open about his sexual preferences and desires. Gay at the university was one thing; gay and dedicated to BDSM was another.

“Has someone hurt you?” She hoped that question would get the job done. Sarah could be more direct, if need be, but she also probably didn’t want to know all the particulars.

“No.” His prompt answer was a relief. Of course, he had to add, “Not any more than I want to be.”

“Ooookay.” Sarah set down her cup. Sometimes a friend had a duty to ask more even if she’d so much rather not. “Have you met some new dom?”

“You know I have. I told you about him.” Cole didn’t look up from his latte, but he didn’t sound reluctant to answer.

“You mentioned you’d met someone new at a club a few weeks ago, but you didn’t say anything more.” That wasn’t like her Cole at all now that she thought about it. “Is that the guy?”

“Fuck yeah. I was incredibly lucky that night. He hardly ever goes to clubs. Says they’re too fake for his tastes.” Cole squirmed again. “He isn’t into scenes. Not public ones.”

“So you’ve been -- um -- doing things outside of clubs?” Sarah wasn’t sure which sounded more dangerous. Cole wouldn’t know danger if it bit him on the butt. Especially if it bit him on the butt.

“At his place. Sarah, it’s… intense. And really sexy.” Cole grinned at her. “That’s all I’ll say unless you want me to go on. I know how you get.”

“And I know how you get, so thanks for shutting up.” She grinned back at him, and Cole shifted his weight again. Sarah sighed. “All right, Cole. Why are you acting this way? Something is going on.”

Cole leaned over, then glanced around to make sure no one was listening. Oh God. He felt the need to keep something private. This was going to be a doozy. 

About the Author:

Treva Harte has always been an overachiever. She also collects things. First it was degrees. First a B.A. in English, then she decided to go back for a Master's degree. Not content with that, she added a J.D. Since then she's added a husband, also an attorney, and two children to her collection. She's continuing her ways as an overachiever, writing her wonderfully offbeat tales of passion and possibilities -- in her spare time.

Visit her website at www.trevaharte.com.


Publisher on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok: @changelingpress

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Friday, August 15, 2025

Fake-Off with Fate by Whitney Dineen (Love in Maple Falls) ~ Comedy, Contemporary, Romance, Sports #RomCom ~ @WhitneyDineen

Fake-Off with Fate
Whitney Dineen
(Love in Maple Falls)
Publication date: August 13th 2025
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance, Sports

She’s a closet designer for the rich and famous and he’s a broken-hearted captain of a pro-hockey team. Neither of them is looking for love.

Ashlyn
An unexpected trip home to Maple Falls gets even more surprising when I inadvertently become acting mayor.
Add a huge crisis and a smoking hot hockey player, and I’m in over my head before I know it.

I’m only here for a short time, so I will not fall for Mr. Tall, dark, and adorable. I don’t care how helpful and kind he is. Long-distance never works, so the answer is no.

Jamie
I’m sick of the press hounding me about my last relationship, so when the opportunity arose to captain a new hockey team in smalltown Washington, I jumped at it.

Too bad I didn’t ask more questions before moving here, like, “Are there bears, and will they be living in my backyard?”

Then there’s Ashlyn. The last thing I expected was to meet a funny, sassy, and good-hearted woman like her. I swore off love after my last heartbreak, but my heart is acting like it missed the memo.

There’s no way I’m going to pursue her. Unless of course, fate has intervened, and we were meant to be…

***
Fake-Off with Fate is a slow-burn, friends to love, fake-dating small town hockey romcom in the Love in Maple Falls series. Add a town conflict, missing mayor, and bear infestation and you will be laughing and cheering your way to a happy ending!

Welcome back to Maple Falls—the small town where hockey players fall in love! This is a multi-author series of seven full-length books that could be read as standalones, but we think you’ll enjoy them best in order.

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Read an Excerpt:

The mayor is ten minutes late for our dinner meeting. I figure I’ll give him another five and then I’ll go ahead and order my food to go.

I’m about to signal to the waitress when a very pretty woman wearing jeans and an orange sweater approaches my booth. She’s average height but not at all average looking. Her hair is a touch lighter than classic auburn but it’s not what I’d call red. “Hi there,” she says while sitting down across from me. “I’m Ashlyn.”

Well, this is awkward. I wonder if she thinks I’m her blind date or something. “Jamie Hayes,” I say, expecting her to realize her mistake.

“I know. You’re the captain of the Ice Breakers, right?”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“I doubt it, because I don’t know you.” She takes a sip of the water glass the waitress left for the mayor.

“If you don’t know me, then why are you sitting with me?”

The question seems to startle her because she looks up and stares at me like a deer in the headlights of oncoming traffic. “I forgot you didn’t know that I was meeting you instead of my father.”

“You’re Mayor Thompkins’ daughter?” Holy heck, is the mayor trying to set me up with his daughter? I don’t care how pretty she is, that’s not cool.

“My dad got stuck in a meeting and he asked me to come in his place,” she explains.

“So, you’ve been tasked with trying to talk me into co-chairing Maple Fest?” If I had to guess, I’d say this was intentional manipulation on the mayor’s part. Little does he know I have no problem saying no to an attractive woman.

“I couldn’t care less if you co-chaired Maple Fest,” she says. “But if I were you, I wouldn’t do it. My dad is a lunatic about that event.”

Now I’m super confused. “So, you’re here to tell me all about Maple Falls?”

“Nope,” she says, before turning her menu over to look at it.

“Why are you here then?”

Meet the Author:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries -- not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

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Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Gods Galore Series by Rupert Stanbury by Rupert Stanbury ~ #Fantasy / #Comedy @RupertStanbury


GODS GALORE
Gods Galore Series
Book One
Rupert Stanbury

Genre: Fantasy / Comedy
Publisher: Troubador / Matador
Date of Publication: 28 October 2021
ISBN: 878-1800465305
ASIN:B09KM9JV2S
Number of pages: 344
Cover Artist: Dave Hill

About the Book:

The Olympian Gods have made it to the 21st century AD. We may not have heard much about them in the last two thousand years, but they’re still controlling what we humans are up to – or at least they think they are.

The reality is that the Gods are like us – they’ve got problems!

Zeus is still Top God on Mount Olympus, but he’s got issues with many of the younger gods. His brothers, Hades and Poseidon, have issues with themselves – they’re getting too set in their ways ruling the Underworld and the Seas; they probably need a job change.

But help is at hand from an unexpected source – we humans.

It’s surprising what a dose of good common sense can do for even the most powerful of the gods, especially when it comes from a couple of teenagers!




THE FOUR HORSEMEN
Gods Galore Series
Book Two
Rupert Stanbury

Genre: Fantasy / Comedy
Date of Publication: 17 April 2023
ISBN: 979-8366008495
ASIN: B0C2Q4G268
Number of pages: 337
Cover Artist: Tim Stringer

About the Book:

The Four Horsemen is the second book in the Gods Galore series about the Olympian Gods in the 21st Century AD.

The gods are still trying to control what we humans are up to. Unfortunately, they’re not being particularly successful. The world is experiencing both plague and famine which Zeus and the Gods’ Council never approved. What’s going on?

Athene’s determined to find out, but before she can get going the God of War initiates an attack on Poseidon’s realm. It’s now all out conflict and the gods are taking sides – one side, in particular.

Wherever there’s a fight, Hebe’s involved. She soon signs up to an army regiment which is full of soldiers even smaller than she is. But war these days involves brains and not just brawn and there’s plenty of both ready to be deployed in this fight!



PIMLICO PEOPLE
Gods Galore Series
Book Three
Rupert Stanbury

Genre:Fantasy / Comedy
Date of Publication: 28 October 2024
ISBN: 979-8338117200
ASIN: B0DL5XTHMH
Number of pages: 339
Cover Artist: Tim Stringer

About the Book:

Pimlico People is the third book in the Gods Galore series about the Olympian Gods in the 21st Century AD.

The Goddesses Artemis and Hebe are staying in Central London to obtain a better understanding of the lives of ‘normal’ people.

To their surprise, they soon encounter a plot to blow up a foreign embassy. Add to that a sophisticated operation involving the theft of valuable paintings from a major art gallery, and the two goddesses begin to question what a ‘normal’ life is all about.

Meanwhile, in the Underworld Cerberus encounters another dog who, amazingly, only has one head! How will they get on?


EXTRACT FROM PIMLICO PEOPLE – THE PARK 

The location for this extract from Pimlico People is St James’s Park in Central London.

The reference to Blefuscu and Lilliput are to two islands in Gulliver’s Travels where people are only about six inches tall. The people of these islands are often in conflict with each other.

Both Iris and Hebe are Greek goddesses. Cerberus is a three-headed dog living in the Underworld. The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders is a Lilliput army regiment; Rach is also from Lilliput. Finally, Slasher and others are swans living in the park.

 

As this small armada was making progress, exciting things were beginning to unfold on West Island where four Blefuscu commandos still remained, together with a couple of swans. None of them knew precisely what their role was, other than to be ‘back-up’, so they just rested on the ground expecting to have a quiet time until their comrades returned. They were therefore surprised to hear a paddling noise from the lake and even more surprised when a large black dog with three heads emerged. All these heads had the same face which bore a remarkable resemblance to the Goddess Iris.

The dog raced along the ground towards the commandos. It snarled and growled as it moved at speed, its three mouths spitting out saliva and showing a large number of very sharp teeth. The commandos tried to get up and run, but the dog was on them before they could get away. They were by now all terrified and started to scream.

“Give us a Mars bar or I’ll bite yer bums!” they heard, but it made no difference because the dog decided not to bite their bums; instead, it proceeded to kick them all into the water.

“Help!” screamed one of the commandos. “I cannot make ze swim! Help!”

The two swans were nearby in the lake and, considering themselves pretty tough, didn’t run away, but instead tried to help the commandos. However, the three-headed dog launched itself from the bank and landed on top of one of the swans. It gave the white bird a number of painful bites and used its powerful front paws to thump the swan in all sorts of sensitive places. Eventually, its victim was so battered and bruised the black dog left it floating on the lake.

The other swan by now had decided he wasn’t quite tough enough to take on a manic three-headed dog and had started swimming away. Unfortunately, it was now the next target for the Iris-Cerberus look-alike who, despite being a four-footed canine, could out-swim any of the St James’s Park swans. The dog soon caught up with the fleeing swan, jumped on its back and meted out the same treatment as it had given to its companion. Having left the second swan equally battered and bruised, the dog swam back to the Blefuscu commandos, who were still flailing around in the water. Three sets of jaws each took hold of a commando at the same time and then proceeded to toss them back onto the island. They were soon joined by their final companion as they lay moaning and groaning on the ground. At this stage the three-headed dog turned round and began to swim towards Duck Island.

The next minute a miniature boat arrived at West Island, having travelled along the length of the lake near the north bank. It had a silent motor, specially designed by Rach’s Special Projects team. A number of Argyll and Southern Highlanders disembarked, went over to the four Blefuscu commandos, tied their hands behind their backs while at the same time taping their mouths. They were put into the boat which set off on its return journey, again along the north side of the lake.

xxxxx

Meanwhile back on the lake, the adjutant and his three commandos were rapidly approaching the south-west corner of Duck Island. The commandos had already taken out a number of hand grenades while the adjutant was readying a bomb to create a Big Boom when Slasher became aware of something in the water approaching him at speed. Suddenly he jerked and let out a honk as he realised he was looking at a giant swan, which was at least five times bigger than him with a neck ten feet high. Interestingly, this swan had the Goddess Hebe’s face, although Slasher would not have been aware of that. He didn’t have time to let out another honk because the giant swan’s head swiped his own, knocking him on his side. He managed to right himself only to find that his adversary didn’t just have webbed feet, but also forearms with bright red boxing gloves which started bashing his head and thumping his body. After a short while the boxing gloves went under his belly and then threw him backwards into the air. When Slasher landed back in the water and his head resurfaced, he found he was due another good beating and bashing until he was left in an even worse condition than his two comrades who’d been attacked by the three-headed dog near West Island.

Slasher’s four Blefuscu commandos had fallen into the water shortly after the altercation with the giant swan had begun. Fortunately, they could all swim, but they did a lot of shouting for help. All their bombs and grenades had also fallen into the lake, so they were now useless, but this didn’t seem to matter. Getting to dry land was their key objective now. Creating a Big Boom at the Lilliput Embassy was no longer high on the agenda.

The other four swans and their commandos behind Slasher were soon aware that matters weren’t going to plan. They tried to move away from the giant swan and turned back towards West Island. However, they didn’t get very far because the giant swan hadn’t taken long to deal with Slasher and began chasing after them. It soon caught up with the two in the rear and gave them both the same treatment it had given Slasher. The other two, who were in the lead for a brief while, thought they’d got away, until one of them was hit very hard by a three-headed dog swimming directly at it with the force of a torpedo. As the swan tried to right itself while it’s four commandos were flailing around in the water, the three-headed dog jumped high into the air. It landed on the back of the final swan, again knocking its commandos into the water before starting to rough up the bird.

While the giant swan and the three-headed dog were having fun beating up Slasher, Spike, Spanka, Scorcher and Smog, the pelicans had stopped chanting “Oggy, Oggy, Oggy” from the lakeside. They got into the water and started looking for the commandos who were splashing around. When they found them, they gently picked the small men up in their beaks and carried them to Duck Island. They were joined by more miniature boats manned by members of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders as well as the Lilliput Embassy’s security staff. Rach was also hovering overhead on her scooter, shining a powerful torchlight on the lake and calling out whenever she found one of the flailing commandos.

 

 Author Intro Video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=33RW970lp04


About the Author:

Rupert Stanbury is a Cambridge University graduate. He was born in Manchester in the North of England but has lived most of his adult life in Central London.

He has always been an avid reader and in recent years decided to take up writing himself. His books have one overriding objective which is TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH!

His first book, Gods Galore, was published in November 2021 and this was followed by The Four Horsemen, in April 2023. His latest novel, Pimlico People, was published in October 2024. All three books are a mixture of fantasy and comedy about the Olympian Gods in the 21st Century.








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